GRIEF #1

There are many opportunities to travel down this path, as we journey through life. The choices we make while dealing with our sorrow, determines the road we must travel. Until, once more, a major life event brings us to another intersection. There - we pause and choose again!

I was not a stranger to grief. Over the years I had lost many family members along with a number of friends. The funeral home was starting to be too uncomfortably familiar.

At that time in my life, there was the necessity of having to continue with day to day issues; I didn't have the time to dwell on the loss, nor did I have the desire to search more deeply into the mysteries of life and death. It wasn't until I lost my husband of 40 years, to a boating accident, that I desperately wanted to heal not only the pain of my loss, but also the pain of life.

The weight of the intense pain in my chest was relentlessly suffocating. I searched for anything that could give me some relief, not really finding any adequate answers or even temporary solutions that could lessen the pain. One day, a documentary on the television- a PBS channel - interrupted my constant crying ; I sat quietly for two hours listening to Wayne Dyer's words "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change". I desperately wanted to change the things I was looking at, which was complete heart-break and despair.

I decided to search for some direction and relief from all the emotional turmoil. I connected with a Hospice and Palliative Care Group. They initially would phone me and listen while I tried to spill out my inner pain. I also attended group meetings, where suggestions were given as how to redefine oneself, having lost a loved one - either by death or divorce. How to move forward in the next phase of one's life.

Being together with "like minded people" in similar situations was very supportive. It was comforting to know I wasn't the only one experiencing similar feelings and issues. For a lot of those that attended, it was very helpful, and I would certainly recommend getting in touch with such groups that may be available in your community.

Always being a bit of a loner, I found walking very beneficial, listening to audio books on my mp3 player as I walked long distances, still looking for answers.

What really served my soul was volunteering. To be of service to others, drew my mind away from self and focused on others. My life felt worthwhile again, contentment found its place back in my heart as I drove home in peace.

"Holiness created me holy.

Kindness created me kind.

Helpfulness created me helpful.

Perfection created me perfect.

(ACIM p1.W.67.2:3-6)